Seduce Your Palate: Why Wine and Food are Better than Sex
This post is from guest blogger Tamara Belgard of @sipwithme
All my blood was rushing to the organs in the lower regions of my body. I sat there looking across the table at my husband, slowly wrapping my lips around the cool metal fork, enveloping the last bite of warm toffee bread pudding, feeling it sweet and satisfying as I took it in my mouth and let it slip down my throat. We sat still, relishing in the afterglow, savoring the final moments of true decadence and complete indulgence when it occurred to me and I said, “You know honey, I think wine and food may just be better than sex.” He laughs.
While exploring this topic, I noticed the gorgeous couple in the booth behind us who’d been keeping pace with us all night had also just finished their dessert and were now sitting so closely next to each other, they could have been spooning. They, who were previously all giggles, batting eyelashes and showoffs, were quiet for the first time of the evening with wicked grins freshly smeared on their contented faces. It was like they just had virtual sex, or wine and food sex… and I watched. Hell, I more than watched, I participated! It was like a wine and food orgy!
I thought about it further (because as a blogger, I tend to obsess about new ideas for my blog): This couple’s wine arrived as she was throwing back her hair, flirtatiously laughing at every silly thing he says, using very obvious and suggestive body language. While they were sipping from their glasses, he acted dominant, making recommends from the menu, saying things like “Trust me, you’ll love it” (I wasn’t exactly evesdropping, the guy just happened to be a very loud talker). Their foreplay continued with the arrival of their appetizer—fries with duck fat (yummers, btw)—as the perfectly crisped French-fried potatoes hit their lips, tongue and mouth with the intensity of a French kiss… “Amazing,” he kept saying again and again. By the time their main course was being consumed, their conversation had degraded to mere moans and groans, more than hinting at their experience of infinite pleasure.
They were not alone… we simultaneously and langourously lingered over those last morsels of our decadent desserts, feeling our minds and bodies relax, giving way to the pleasure just received. As if on cue, I watched her rise from her seat and slide into the booth next to him, gently laying her head on his shoulder, snuggling… spooning, until their bill was paid and they quietly slipped out (for round 2?).
Before all the blood had fled my head to my belly, inducing a serious food coma, I was able to jot down my top 10 reasons why the food and wine experience is better than sex.
- Condoms aren’t required to eat or drink and there’s never a risk of pregnancy.
- It’s legal to pay for food and wine.
- Dropping $100 on a meal is perfectly acceptable.
- You can take pleasure from both food and wine in public and even in front of your family.
- You don’t have to be committed to just one; feel free to eat and drink around.
- Food and wine won’t leave you dripping with sweat or give you bed head.
- You can make dinner and a bottle last for hours, even all night.
- There’s no obligation or expectations after you’ve enjoyed wine or food.
- You don’t need mirrors, angles or toys to make the experience better.
- Sorry men, I love you all, but it just has to be said; women have a better chance of being truly and deeply satisfied by a good meal and a few glasses of fine wine.
We’d just finished a stimulating date-night dinner at Allium Bistrot, Hunter and I were having great fun traveling down this obnoxiously creative road until I got to number 10 and he matter-of-factly said, “Wait a minute, I’m not so sure I support this article after all.” So, in all fairness to him I’ve also come up with one great reason why sex will always be better than food and wine. Any sex is good sex and you couldn’t ever say that about a bottle or a meal.
So, in the end, my advice to you is simple, select some good wine, have some indulgent bites and then slow down and discover how the food and wine experience can seduce your palate, leaving you utterly exhilarated, entirely blissful and ever wanting more. Until we sip again…
Tamara Belgard is a freelance writer and graphic designer living her dream in Portland, Oregon. She currently writes a wine blog called Sip with Me detailing her journey through wine, Oregon and beyond. In addition to being a full-time mom, Tamara is also a marketing and social media specialist. Her passions include wine, chocolate, travel and all things culinary.