The Dudes Guide: Part 3 Snort Suck Swish

Her smell is intoxicating. The aroma seductively locks you in a trance causing you only to think about her taste… Dude, you wanna kiss her! We don’t realize it but women are toying with our minds with all their elixirs, concoctions, and perfumes. The smell is the erotic trigger to our brain causing us to lose all sense of logic and control.

Sexy Wine

Tasting wine is a similar experience. Wine is a lover to be enjoyed, caressed, and passionately embraced. This is something that guys need to learn. We’re not used to the delicate intricacies of a woman (or wine). Most of the time we fumble along hoping our bodies connect in the right way. A real man appreciates the arresting aroma, savours the supple style and drinks in delicate drama that is a woman (or wine). Dude’s it is time to move from our slam a shot mentality to the savor the senses experience that is wine. This is a gentle love affair not a one night stand.

In the first two posts we talked about;

Today, we are going to talk about tasting wine. Wine can be described as a symphony with its subtle nuances and bold phrases emphasizing the rise and fall of emotion. As guys, we’re used to a drum solo – bam – it’s loud and fast and it’s over and we’re happy – time to sleep.

Let’s explore the way to taste and enjoy wine (dude style)

The Swirl: Getting Her Ready

Lay her back, rub you hands in a circle letting her get excited. She gets aroused as the friction causes her to breathe. With the motion you take notice of her color, her quality, and her clarity. Her juices run down the…GLASS! We’re talking about wine here guys!

Exploring wine begins with the swirl. People swirl wine to allow oxygen into the wine. A nice crystal glass and the shape of the bowl help the wine to breathe and prepare the next step; the sniff. Don’t over pour your wine. A four or five ounce pour is plenty (remember wine has twice the alcohol as  a normal beer). Leave enough room in the glass so that when you swirl you’re not spilling on your girls new dress. That is a major foul and will probably not lead to the desired outcome of the night.

The Sniff: The Intoxicating Allure

The flurry of motion has released a myriad of aromas that flood the nose. With a deep inhale you allow the smell to penetrate. Your brain becomes excited at the anticipation prompting a heightened awareness of the other senses. Careful not to rush, you enjoy the smells before you dive in to taste…THE WINE. We’re still talking about wine here guys!

Wine, more than any other beverage, offers a variety of aroma (and taste). These tastes vary greatly between region, grape, year, and personal style of the wine maker. Enjoy the smells of the wine. Refer to the second post in this series for a stereotype of the seven common wines you’ll encounter.

The Sip: The Explosion in Your Mouth

Your senses are nearly on overload. The aroma has you transfixed, the anticipation makes you swell with excitement. Your mouth waters as you expectantly take it in. The flavors dance across your tongue. Now more than ever your senses are aroused as the full climax of the experience is revealed…still talking about THE WINE here.

As you drink in the wine, let it sit in your mouth. For the first few sips, let it rinse across all parts of your mouth from front to back. Take note of how it tastes different on the tip of your tongue to the sides of your mouth. Good wine will reveal different secrets even after you swallow it (the finish). Some wine will be smooth and sweet and others will be dry and tart. These different flavor profiles work well with different foods. Like food, you’ll develop a preference for some, but don’t be afraid to experiment.

Enjoying wine may seem as intimidating as talking to a Victoria Secret model (while she’s still in her unmentionables), but the sexiness and complexity is revealed as you pull back the covers of the Swirl, Sniff, and Sip. Keep these basic principles in mind and even the most basic dude will experience the foreplay and climax that is tasting wine.

On a final note, guys; be willing to experiment. We all want our ladies to be playful in bed and open to new experiences. We need to take our own advice. It’s okay to walk into the store and buy 3-4 different bottles just to taste. Even better, take your lady on a day trip to a few winery tasting rooms. This is a fun and affordable way to explore new experiences. Be a man, don’t be a friggin’ sissy. Man up and go wine tasting. You just might have fun and you just might get laid!

In the final post of this four-part series we will attempt to demystify buying wine at the store and ordering at restaurants.

The Dude’s Guide to Wine

  • In Part One we explained three reasons all guys should know a little about wine
  • In Part Two we explored the basics of grapes and their general characteristics
  • In Part Three we talked about the experience of wine tasting (swirl, smell, sip, savor)
  • In Part Four we uncover the struggle of ordering wine at restaurants and buying in stores

Drink.Happy

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drinknectar

Owner of Nectar Tasting Room in Spokane, WA. (@nectarwine) Publisher of Spokane Wine Magazine (@spowinemag), author, speaker, consultant and internet marketer with Nectar Media (@nectarmedia)

16 comments on “The Dudes Guide: Part 3 Snort Suck Swish

  1. Chris

    Is it wrong to be excited even if you are just talking about wine? I am off to open a bottle! :-)

    Reply
  2. Randy Watson

    The ladies man of wine! I love it! :)

    Seriously though, great job on the dudes guide!

    Lemme know if you need help turning it into a downloadable PDF or ebook!

    Reply
    1. drinknectar

      Chris – LOL – no, wine is exciting and sometimes erotic!

      Randy – I’ve thought about that and may pick your brain about the topic soon.

      Josh

      Reply
  3. zinbythesea

    Brilliant, brilliant, brilliant!!! ;)

    Reply
  4. Jen

    my office is steamy….! Good read and I passed it on to my hubby and a few guys that need a little wine-push! If this doesn’t do it for them nothing will….

    Reply
    1. drinknectar

      LOL – Yep, It got a little steamy writing it too. I hope the guys like it! Thanks for passing it along.

      Josh

      Reply
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  6. markmye

    dude, you should write books and get paid for it.

    well done!

    Reply
    1. drinknectar

      Thanks, man! I appreciate it. We’ll see someday about the book. Already a ton of spinning plates.

      Reply
  7. Sip With Me

    Mmm, so deliciously provacative. I love this post and more so how wonderfully you portray the dude’s perspective, I totally get it and you always put a smile on my face. Thanks for another excellent post, and I too am looking forward to that book!

    Reply
    1. drinknectar

      Thanks, Tamara – the book may be a ways off, but I appreciate the vote of confidence.

      Reply
  8. Ron

    Wine, women and song. That’s what it’s all about. Nice wine-sensuality connection. Good choice of photos too.

    Reply
    1. drinknectar

      Thanks, Ron! Searching for those photos can be quite an interesting journey!

      Josh

      Reply
  9. wineaccguy

    Ha, needed to give this a re-read before part 4. Absolutely love it. Looking forward lustily to the conclusion!

    Reply
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  11. Pingback: The Dudes Guide: Part 2 of 4 Got Grapes? | Drink Nectar

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